Author: Ramona

A topic about SELF-LOVE

Hey loves! Let’s talk about something really important! How much do you love yourself? For me it never was easy to completely accept myself for who I was. And still today my way to self love has its ups and downs. But like many other things in life, this is going to be a long life journey. In this blog I would like to share with you some really personal experiences and how I found a way to learn to accept myself a little bit more every day. Today I can assure you that I am very happy with my life and myself and I am looking forward to everything life has to offer. 

My younger self

Ever since as a child I was very insecure. Always full of self doubt and scared of not being good enough. Not good enough as a daughter, sister, student, friend, girlfriend or not good enough for the work/job I do. And for sure growing up and becoming a woman with this mindset accompanied with some new experiences nobody prepared me for, was not always easy. 

There could be a lot of reasons why I was not able to accept myself for who I was. Wrong friendships? The fact that I was dissatisfied with my look and body? People who were important to me made me feel wrong, unable, unsupported and alone? Poor grades? That I cared too much of what other people could think of me? Well, I don’t know. But what I know is that I let my insecurities take control over how I behaved and on who I started to become. And it made me feel not good enough at everything. Be it in private, with friends or at work, I always had the feeling of not being good enough.

I was self destructive in the way I treated myself. A lot of negative self-talk dominated my thoughts, I constantly felt the need to compare myself to others which encouraged me in my opinion of not being good enough. I never put myself first and/or spoke up for what was truth to me. I often was aggressive and always defensive. Anxieties and my lost state was a logical consequence.

Relationships

It never was easy to allow people to get too close to me. I was not able to build long lasting, profound and important relationships. Sure, I had a lot of friends at the time but were they really good for me? I mean the ones you can fully be yourself in the good and the bad.. Where you can drop your walls, trust fully and even consider family? Nope! Had I ever had a relationship with a man which was giving me peace and serenity? Nope! Was my relationship with my family always easy? Of course not.

The problem was not always “wrong” friendships or annoying (ex-)boyfriends. No, the problem was my inner world. The way I saw myself in this world. Instead of searching the problem in other people I had to start with myself. What do I have to give to other people? Would I want to have a friendship with myself? I realized that I could not expect something from others that I was not able to return. 

The moment I hit rock bottom

A lot of years went by and I truly felt lost in this world. What was my purpose? Why am I here? Would anybody notice my absence? Why am I so ugly? Oh my good, I better stop here.. You see, instead of asking myself constructive questions, I continued to beat myself up. I was ashamed of myself, hated everything I did, said and felt. Here I was creating and living in my own dangerous and toxic vicious circle. Finally, I began to worry. I was so young and I still had everything in front of me. It needed to stop and I needed to change – NOW!

Are you happy with who you are?

I was not happy with myself and I was not happy with my life. I wanted it to change – immediately! I started to ask different questions and became more conscious about what my thoughts are and what I really wanted. I began to read books, stopped the comparison, ended a lot of toxic relationships and followed my passions. I made a few shifts which led me to a more content life. But I wanted more. I wanted to become the best version of myself. I needed some time off, with myself. So I decided to quit my job and travel the world alone. I learned so much about life and myself. Being abroad and away from my usual everyday life, allowed me to see the world with different eyes. Suddenly I had so much time for myself and for what I wanted to do without being influenced by my environment.  I began to feel relief, I began to stand up for myself and I began to say no! I realized that I had to put myself first and love me first. This is where my life began to change – where I began to change…  

Becoming who I am today

I learned to let myself be just the way I am and to do what I want, without letting it influence me by other people. In the past I wanted to please everybody. I bought stuff I did not need to impress people that were not good for me, I behaved in a way that was not in alignment with my values and most importantly I was unhappy. But guys, this is so wrong! People will always have expectations on what you should do or who you should become. Especially parents, family members, friends or your work.

People judge a alot. As you may know I travelled the world a few years ago. I worked my ass off with three different jobs to make that happen. But there were a lot of individuals claiming I had a sugar daddy or rich parents who financed this adventure. There are people saying I am a stripper because I do pole dance. First of all, what is wrong in being a stripper? And secondly do they know what pole dance is? Other people make fun of my Instagram and the way I interact with my followers (who btw I truly love). I mean wtf? Do these humans don’t have a life?! It is not always easy to do things you love and knowing people are talking and I am still working on not letting it affect me. To be honest I am still struggling with the fact that it does not affect or burden me, it’s just a long way off but I am working on it. But do you know what? People will always talk and judge about you but you don’t need this type of negativity and people in your life. If something makes you happy and doesn’t hurt other people- DO IT! And do it as long as it makes you feel good. It does not matter what other people think.  Avoid those people in your environment who have a bad impact on you and just spread bad moods and vibes.

But today, I don’t feel bad to just say no or to make decisions that are good for me without thinking about what other people could think. I do what makes me happy and I put myself first – and that was life changing! I love my family, friends so much. But how can I give them all my love if I can not love myself in the first place? You can’t give something you don’t have. 

Everybody has downdays and that is ok. Remember that the journey to self love is an ongoing process and it will take time – and that is ok as well. There are days that I also struggle with embracing my truest self but I am working on loving myself each day a little bit more. 

What you can do If you struggle with self love

Let’s start with asking yourself important questions:

  • What kind of person do I want to be? 
  • What do I need to change to become the best version of myself?
  • Am I surrounded by people who truly love and care about me?
  • What makes me feel good?
  • What can I give back to society? 
  • Am I doing something because I want it or because I want to impress others? 

Asking new and constructive questions will help you see life and yourself from another perspective. What else can you do? There are so many things that helped me. Here you can download a list I created for you. I hope it inspires you on your journey to self love. Let’s work on being our best self together and make this world a better place for us and for the people around us. 

Inspiration

I really love what Oprah Winfrey has to say about why it is so important to keep your own self full (check it out here!). And yes! She is so right… You don’t have anything to give that you don’t have.

Books I can recommend

Some of the books are also available in German, just ask me and I will send you the link.

Instagram accounts that are very inspiring on the topic of Self Love

You are enough!

You are special honey. There is no other person in this world like you. How AMAZING is that?! And please believe me when I say that you deserve to be loved. Always and unconditionally. Not only by those around you, but by the most important person that will ever be in your life, YOU. 

You are enough! Good enough, pretty enough, talented enough, kind enough… GOOD ENOUGH! You don’t have to have the best grades, most beautiful hair, follow the latest trends or have 100 friends. This is not what will make you happy. Be confident, show compassion for others and for yourself, be kind, seek knowledge, forgive yourself and most importantly – embrace your perfectly imperfect creation that you are. You are and will be enough – always! 

Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times we are facing serious life challenges. We have to understand that putting ourselves first is neither egoistic nor ruthless. It is all about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. This is the only way to give our best selves to the world, spread love and positivity. 

So do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath, give yourself a big hug, practice, shine and start creating a life you deserve. 

Your story

I really hope that sharing my personal story will help some of you get inspired! Maybe you can relate with what I shared with you in this blog. I am very curious about your journey and challenges. What do you think about self love? At which point in your life are you? If you want to share with me your story, you can send me a message to: hello@amorea.ch or direct on Instagram. Can’t wait to hear your story! 

LOVES, to support you on practising Self Love on yourself I have created a Self Love Guide to motivate you! Download your #selflove Guide here !

15 things about me to get to know me better

Everybody has strengths and weaknesses and everybody has something that makes him or her special and that you absolutely have to know. Here are some facts about me, so you can get to know me better.

  1. BELLA ITALIA – Did you know that I am half Italian?
    Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my mother is italian? Maybe… Maybe not! I love the country for many reasons. I adore the Italian kitchen, the beaches, the italian hospitality, the language and of course the italian culture and people. Sicily is where my family is from. Have you ever been to Sicily? Definitely worth a trip – trust and believe me.
  1. My zodiac sign? Pisces!
    Pisces personalities are known for their sensitivity and empathy. They can pick up other people’s feelings and they’ll do whatever they can to make sure the people around them are happy. Pisces are artistic and use their vivid imaginations to think up new ideas and projects. What is your zodiac sign? Can you relate with yours?
  1. I strive for perfection
    Fear of failure, highly critical, unrealistic standards, focussed on results and depressed by unmet goals… Yup, also me! Some of the bad aspects of being a perfectionist. I am still in the progress of accepting that there is no such thing as perfection. I learned with the years that I need to strive for progress and not perfection, to try to be the best version of myself and beat my last best every day. Do you want to know more about this topic and my journey?   

– You can find perfection only in the perfect imperfection! L.B.

  1. R&B, 00’s
    When it comes to music I am all about R&B and the 00’s!
    Here are some of my favourite songs:

    Blu Cantrell – Breathe
    Nelly – Dilemma ft. Kelly Roland
    Mario -Let Me Love You
    Ja Rule – Mesmerize ft. Ashanti
    Fat Joe – What’s Luv? ft. Ashanti
    Cassie – Me & U 
    Aaliyah – Try Again
    Ciara – Goodies ft. Petey Pablo
    Cassidy – Hotel
    Fabolous ‎- So Into You ft. Tamia
    Lloyd – You ft. Lil Wayne
    Bobby Valentino – Tell Me 
    and many more….
  1. My gut is my best friend
    If you know, you just know! Many people in my life have ideas of what is best for me. It starts with my family and friends and ends at my workplace. Most of the time these ideas are held with good intentions – I am certain of that. But I decide most of the time to put aside all external opinions and listen instead to my own intuition. It always knows what is best for me and has never disappointed me. If you did not already read my first blog post about how I met Ryan, do it now. My intuition played a very big role!
  1. Series junkie alerts!
    I don’t watch an episode or two – NO, that’s amateur level. I have the superpower to watch an entire season in less than three days. I take the matter of spoilers seriously and hate mid-season breaks. They make me go crazy! I easily get attached to characters I relate to. You can imagine how devastated I am when they die or how hard I hit rock bottom everytime a series comes to an end. And.. oh.. If you don’t know who John Snow is, we can’t be friends.
    Some of my favorite TV shows: Game of Thrones, Dark, Vikings and Jane the Virgin.
  1. Cold Coffee
    I love hot coffee and would never say no to an espresso. However, I will always end up forgetting my cup of coffee and have to drink it cold. Ugh.. Any ideas on how to keep coffee hot?
  1. Me resentful? Maybe sometimes but never for too long!
    For me resentfulness is a self-destructive and toxic feeling. There is nothing positive about holding on to something or someone that makes me feel sad or angry. Do yourself a favor and separate you from people that are not good for you and the negative feelings you associate with them. Set yourself free – you will not regret it. 
  1. Interaction Design and Social Media
    I am becoming an interaction designer with the aim of earning my living while pursuing my passion. Photography, videography, online marketing and social media is where I feel home. I love my job and am looking forward to the great and interesting projects waiting for me. Today I am already consulting companies with their start ups and helping them with online marketing and social media. I also work as a Mentor for individuals and am always happy to help. Here you can find more information about all the services I provide. Let’s talk if you are interested and stay tuned. There is much more to come!
  1. My family is my source of happiness
    My family is my home, my strength, my weakness, my everything and greatest gift! I definitely am a family person and really do enjoy the time I can spend with them. My Mum is just fantastic. It is hard to find the right words to explain what role she plays in my life. She went against everything and everybody, choosed the most difficult way and was ready to face all the obstacles life and society put in her way just to love and protect me. If you want to know more about my family and our story –  just let me know.
  1. Bad habit No 2 – Indecisiveness!
    Now you know that I am a perfectionist. What comes along with it, is for instant the fact that I am not very good at making decisions. It starts with simple questions like what am I going to wear? Which movie do I want to watch? What do I want to eat in a restaurant? And ends with difficult live decisions regarding my career, friends and family.
  1. Instagram – Let’s share nothing but love and positivity
    IG provides an amazing platform to be creative and interact with a lot of people around the world. I can find a lot of inspiration and satisfaction in fulfilling myself as an artist and content creator. But how did it all begin? It all started with sharing my pole dance passion with the world and finally my journey as a world traveler. My community began to grow every single day. At the beginning, as with many things in life, it was not easy for me! Family and friends were not very supportive and did not understand why becoming “an influencer” was so important to me. But lovely people, I did it my way! Today I am so grateful for the unique and amazing community we became, to inspire people every day, the infinite possibilities IG offers and of course for every single one of you! I love you. Let’s continue to spread love, inspiration and positivity together.
  1. I travelled the WORLD alone
    Curiosity and the love for different cultures, countries and people led me to travel the world. I decided to enjoy this unique journey all by myself. I was at a point in my life where I needed some time. Time to discover myself, to figure out what I want in life and which future I want to create for myself. It took me a lot of courage to step out of my comfort zone, to quit my job and leave family and friends for a long time. But trust me if I tell you, that this was the best decision I ever made. I learned a lot about loving myself, found serenity and got in the process of becoming the best version of myself every day. 
  1. Female soccer player vs. poledancer
    Pole Dance is a big passion as you already know. I have been doing pole now for more than 10 years and am a pole instructor for more than 5. It is a physical challenge where I can play with my sensuality and help other individuals to reach their goals. All in one – PERFECT! In my younger years I loved to play soccer. I was not that good at scoring but I was fast, competitive and a teamplayer. What a great contradiction don’t you think?

    Click here to watch a Poledance video of me.

  2. HUMANITY IS MY RACE, LOVE IS MY RELIGION AND PEACE IS MY WEAPON
    Love you more than anything else! There is nothing more to say. Period!
© amorea.ch

design by amorea x diversityart.ch